The story of Skylar

So have you ever had the feeling inside you where you..... I want to say need/want someone or something well I do and I hate it. Explain you ask OK this post is about the one and only SKYLAR! Now Skylar graduated last year now I guess you can say we met on facebook when I transferred to Adel he found me on facebook and told me I should come to one of his soccer games and I just though sure why not I like sports I know nothing about soccer but you know whatever, anyways so after that we started to talk all the time on facebook I mean ALL the time we would talk everyday most days for HOURS, So to make a long story short one day we were talking and he told me that this girl who he had a HUGE crush on and who also played with his mind and heart called him and wanted to "fix" things, (little did I know I liked him whole lot more than I though) when I heard this my heart dropped. I seriously wanted to do nothing but go to bed and cry. I thought that we both kinda liked each other but maybe I was wrong. So what did I do some how (I still to this day don't know how i did it) pulled myself together and told him that if he liked her then he needed to call her and fix things
THEN he told me "I don't know what i want, I mean I liked her for so long but all she did was hurt me and besides I kinda have a thing for this other girl" at this point I was confused. All I could think about was OMG there's ANOTHER girl I didn't even know about!! And yet I some how continued to give him advice on what to do (as I recall I told him that he needed to try and fix thing with the old girl or he will always have that "what if......" thought in his head and would never be able to completely move on)
AND THEN he told me maybe I was right and that oh, by the way that "other girl" was ME! So at the end of this conversation I was lost I didn't know what I was thinking. So things went on like normal we talked all the time I fell for him more. But 3 or 4 weeks later there were pics of him and this other girl all over facebook and he was always talking about how excited he was to see her and hang out when I saw all this it seriously broke my heart into a million pieces, thank god I saw this on a Friday I cancelled all my plans and stayed home and laid in bed and cried the ENTIRE weekend I text my friend Ambre and said I'm shutting my phone off for the weekend and just cried.
Well the weekend eventually ended and Monday came so I tried to pull myself together for school and I did pretty good until 3 hr choir the class we both had. For some reason I was late so when I walked in I had to walk by his spot, Still I was doing good I knew if I looked at him I would lose it right there in front of everyone so I just looked straight a head and went to my spot and didn't look at him for 5 whole min but then I did not only look at him he was looking at me, so we are standing there stareing right at each other I tried to look away but couldn't, I could tell that he saw the hurt in my eyes and that I was starting to tear up, at that moment he knew he had broken my heart and he just got this look of oh my god I'm so sorry and what have I done, so we didn't talk for a while. Then when we did talk again it was just small talk.

Its been just small talk ever since but to this day I feel like he is the one I want to cuddle with and be with but I cant ever tell him any of this because I cant handle having my heart broken again .......