Hoping VS Embracing

This is something I wrote a while ago and just found on my computer...
So I have decided that its better to go through life embracing the things that make you happy not expecting them. Now if that’s true then that brings me to this question is there a difference between expecting and hoping/wishing? and if so what is it the difference between hoping/ wishing for something or someone to make you happy and expecting it…. The embracing part is easy if he wants to talk to me or hold my hand and kiss me that wonderful and I will love every second of if but hoping and wishing is I want to say to risky its like if I expect it to happen and it doesn’t happen then I end up getting hurt and isn’t that what my walls are suppose to be stopping….. He proves it “wishing is where u want it really bad and you’ll do anything for it… and expecting is when you know it will make you happy” it’s the wanting that gets you into trouble. When you want something so badly you’ll do anything for it that’s great when it comes to something that will make you happy but someone is different. What if you are willing to do whatever you have to get your happiness and the other person isn’t then what do you do… that is why to save your self heartache you don’t think to hard about anything you just go with the flow and enjoy whatever you get

just way to weird

Ok so we all know I dated Chris… yes Ashlyns Chris as if that wasn’t weird enough, I can handle that. But what I just cant get over is the reason we broke up is because he was “best friends” my friend Cassidee and wouldn’t talk to me about anything he always ran to her…. So a week after we broke up she calls me at work freaking out saying she needs to talk to me its important, so I take break and go talk to her (thinking that she was gonna die or someone was pregnant). And the first thing out of her mouth was “you can totally hit me if you want” ( and of course I laughed, because I never hit anyone) and at this point I just tell her to tell me… so she dose, she says her and Chirs kind of have “a thing” and it took everything I had not to laugh, I was just like ok… I need to know this why… I’m not stupid I knew what was going on. I just cant believe she did it, I mean I thought there was some kind of “girl code” that says you cant date your best friends ex…. Let alone take them from her. But anyways she acted like it was some big deal and I honestly didn’t care. Although if she only knew what people said about her for doing that, the general public of our small town didn’t take the news. I think everyone questioned their friendship with her after that. Even though I told them I really didn’t care.
But anyway back to the point I just could never get over how weird it was… I mean she did she think it was ok… granted I didn’t care the rest of the world did. But she would give me all these details (which is something I don’t do) like it was any guy. Why would she think I wanted to hear that. She thinks its completely normal. WHO DOSE THAT haha It honestly cracks me up to think she went about it the way she did. And now that they broke up she cant get over it and he has moved on just fine. I just don’t know what to say to her. She is keeps telling me I’m her best friend she needs me and wants to hang out ALL the time… its kinda creepy. Is this now friends are suppose to be I mean none of my close girl friends date, and I keep that part of my life to myself… (well except when I talk to Andrew) well surly I will never have to deal with something this weird again..

I am sorry for whoever just tried to message me.... I walked away from the computer for a few min... but thanks for the complement, hope to talk to you again

next chapter of life... I hope

So I have done the community collage thing it was just dandy, but it really wasn’t what I wanted, so I have to decided to up and move away from everything I know and love to go to culinary school. Yep im doing what is never done in the town I am from. For one there is no way I would be able focus on school and only school. I don’t want to feel obligated to baby sit for my mom or sister. And I don’t want to hear all the small town drama. And get lectures from all my friends every time I want to stay home and study or skip a party. I hate to see it but I don’t see any of my friends getting out of our small town ( like I say this is something that is said but never done). This is horrible to say I must admit but its true. The truth is I don’t feel bad saying it nobody but Andrew and Cassidee are truly excited for me and they really are the only ones who believe that I will. Now people don’t have to be excited to believe in me but God would it kill them to lie to me and at least pretend like they are. Everyone is entitled to their option but lets all keep in mind the if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I mean is it really necessary to tell me that “you’ll never make it you will come running home to mommy” or “ ya right you will never do it” or my personal favorite “your just doing it for attention” and believe it or not I didn’t tell anyone about my plan until I started applying for schools for the simple fact, that I figured this is how people would react so for all the people who think that’s the reason its clearly not! Any ways on happier note, I am outrageously excited like to the point I want to cry from excitement every time I think about it. Then I turn around and think what if I don’t get in then what will I do. But I guess I will just work on one plan at a time; and if it fails then I will worry about a plan B. but hopefully Cassidee and Andrew are right and I get in!!! oh how amazing that would be